One year and one week ago today we had a scan of our baby girl which changed our whole pregnancy journey. I wish I could travel back in time and somehow reassure myself that it’s not as bad as what it seems and that we would still get our precious baby. I also wish we were offered a picture to take home of our baby girl, instead of being hurried along and what felt like the Doctor dismissing the pregnancy.
One year ago today I had a Amniocentesis. My brain had been filled with what would turn out to be false thoughts. Just wanting it to be over and done with as I thought it was just a procedure to confirm what we had been told from the Doctor the week before. As Laurie held my hand and my mother rubbed my feet, I tried not to look at the image on our already active baby girl on the screen. Again I wish I could travel back in time and reassure myself, that my mothers instinct will start to kick in and tell me that things aren’t as bad as they seem.
Six years ago today I went on a blind date, this turned out to be the best thing I’ve ever agreed to doing. That night we conveniently had a whole restaurant to ourselves, I had my future husbands full attention. Thinking back to the night makes my tears of what happened last year dry up and instead a smile forms on my face. I know that it irritates Laurie, but I am a sentimental person. Now that we are married he thinks that we should just celebrate our wedding anniversary. But I choose to celebrate this day cause if it didn’t happen we wouldn’t be where we are today. The happiness and love which that memory forms totally overrides the heartbreaking and depressing memories of what happened last year.
Laurie, I’m so pleased in my very drunken state that I let your sister into performing a bit of matchmaking. Looking back it feels like I didn’t really start living life like I wanted to until that moment. You are the best risk I’ve ever taken and I love you with all my heart . . . sorry for being soppy
Love you too baby! XOXOX